A revelation about motherhood...probably applies to other things too.
18th-Jul-2005 05:22 pm
I've been going through the pregnant communities lately and I've come to find one thing: Other mothers are your downfall. Women have not changed since high school and will be the first ones to tell you what you're doing wrong and completely ignore anything you do right. They also are quick to tell you things even before their stitches are done healing. So - don't rely on other mothers to guide you unless you were friends with them BEFORE they were mothers or you know that they are laid back. You stand as much a chance at being a great mom figuring it out along the way.
This might come as a shock to the new moms and pregnant moms on my F-list but, all the things you found so important while pregnant or even during the toddler years, will mean almost nothing by the time your child starts school. Not only will it mean nothing to everyone who made your life their business, but it won't mean much to you either, except some personal achievements filled maybe. Whether or not you had a "natural" birth will be of little concern to you, just as long as your baby came out unscathed. Only YOU will beat yourself up for either having or not having an epidural during your labor. Whether or not your son was circumcized will not make a difference in the long run. And no one will think you're a better kinder mother for not having it done, nor will they think you're evil if you do. Getting your daughter's ears pierced when she is a baby will not make her hate you someday on that off chance she was the 1 girl who never wanted hers done. And no one will think she's cooler than everyone for being one of the first in her class with earrings either. As important is breastfeeding is, it won't make you a better mother because you did it, and choosing to bottlefeed doesn't mean you're headed down the road of doom. What kind of mom you are isn't floating around in the milk. So when you make that decision don't place its importance so high that you're either hating or congratulating yourself for it. You'll meet other moms who care more about what your child is eating as an infant than the fact that they will someday feed their kid bullshit like Lunchables as a legitimate "meal" and give them Hawaiian Punch to wash it down with. When your child became potty-trained will be of little importance, as long as it happened. How soon your child speaks has little to no bearing on whether or not he will be a genious growing up.
In the end it isn't that ONE decision you made that could make or break you as a new mom, but the series of decisions you make once you became one that matter. And while you can't go back and correct any mistakes along the way, you can always make good decisions in the future.